The Full Moon

the full moon

watched by a silent soul

noting the intensity of its glow

wondering if its an eerie coincidence

that it reminds them of the one they loved

who died ten years ago

as if the universe is giving a poetic reminder

to never let the memory fade

they feel it is a significant moment

with the moon a witness to their grief

the full moon

shines on another

doped up and done with the night

sprawled in a park

preying to anybody that would listen

that they will wake up to see the new day

caught up in the high

the moon catches their eye

a reminder of their loneliness

in the great scheme of things

 

the full moon

it offers itself as a beacon of light

in the literal sense

an icon for romance

and many other metaphors

the audience member

of the world

will listen when we howl

and that is all

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Crawl

Fingernails tunneled deep into mud
Scooping burrowing crescents
Earth smell compacted nose to brain
Lactic acid swelled in biceps
Embracing the earth
Like snake or worm
Leaking legs grew cold
Hands hastened by the drag
Of the hourglass losing sand
Disorientated memories flood
Of a lifetime far behind
Silenced by a shadow

The Struggle

I haven’t posted anything new recently because Uni has started up again and that oh so familiar cortisol kicks in and it feels like you’re trying to walk around  balancing books on your head that keep falling and crushing your feet. Why is it that when things get so stressful that, instead of dealing with your problems, sometimes you ignore them until they become so big and ugly it’s impossible to ignore them anymore. I want to know why some of us just don’t seem to have that frustratingly perfect gene that allows some of us to get ahead with their work, finish it early and submit it with sickeningly sweet smile.

Sometimes I wonder why I go to Uni…the whole point is to help set myself up for a good future right? Even though what I’m studying I mostly get tutors saying: “This field is extremely competitive…”, “Finding work is going to be very hard…”, “You’re going to have to move to Melbourne if you want any sort of chance at getting a job.” Not to mention the horrible looks of pity on peoples faces when I tell them what I study and the classic line: “Will that lead to much?” Basically, from the reactions I’m getting, this really isn’t going to help me much at all. The future looks bleak.

I want what everyone wants: to live a happy life. It’s just hard figuring out what makes you happy and if you can make it happen in comparison in what society deems as normal. Right now, a good weekend for me is getting take-away and watching some TV with my boyfriend. Yes, I want to travel, go out for lunches and shop, so that means I will need money…and to get money means working a 9-5 job. If I’m spending my life working this 9-5 job I hate, it means the majority of life won’t be fun or happy. That’s our ‘lot’. Life isn’t always fun. It’s complicated and we made it that way, otherwise we’d be killing each other basic things like food, water, and shelter…Wait…in a way…aren’t we still doing that?

I apologise for the vant (vent/rant). This is my form of therapy. Hey, it’s either this or slapping people in the face, and hopefully this is a little more bearable. I will have a glass of wine and cheers to you for making it through. 🙂

Photo on 19-03-14 at 7.03 PM