Sadly Important

This swirling entity of deep sadness

You want to purge it

Cough it out like lung tar

No matter how hard you cry or how tightly you ball yourself up

How raw your skin gets or how rough your throat is

It is a part of you

The sun will keep passing by warming your tired face

Knowing millions of others feel the same as you when stepping outside

It doesn’t hurt any less

It bites as hard as winter chill

You get pinned down by this sadness

Having to accept it

Having to awkwardly live alongside it

Some days it resides in a far off part of the house

You hardly know it is there

Other days it is manifested right in your face

When you stare in the mirror

It can disappear for a week or even a month

Giving you time to heal

Time to enjoy being alive

But you can always rely on its return

Like an old friend

To remind you to appreciate things more

To understand that being sad

Is a part of everyone’s life

Not to be ashamed at moments of weakness

Sometimes it will come down on you like a fierce storm

Or other times it trickles down like gentle rain

It is pointless fighting it

You can’t slam a door in its face

It is much better

Even with reluctance

To greet this swirling entity of deep sadness

Give it a place to exist

And with time

The visitations might get shorter

Teaching you new things with every stay

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A Reworking Of Love

 

“Never close your mind to whom you have invited to peer in,

I am nothing, you are nothing. Though something dwells within.

At first you were a familiar stranger. No thought of love existed,

Then solos met in duets and our melody persisted.

You brought me to a mode of speech without self editing,

Your face brought a source of light I found worth admitting.

Nothing is sealed in fate. Everyday is a choice,

Could you feel the same without the calm in their voice?

Feel our hand grooves gently grow deeper,

Discard others like souls to the reaper.

A trade of giving oneself over to the other,

A destruction of privacy for the gain of a lover.

It may appear at times you lose identity,

Something uncontrollable, its own entity.

Instinctively you will find a balance in the tether,

Even when apart you will always be together.

A secret bonds us upon every kiss

Hand in hand, we float through the abyss.”

 

Explanation

This poem was created after consuming a lot of chocolate. Not just any old chocolate but Baci. For those who do not know, Baci chocolates come wrapped up with a little piece of paper with a quote about love. Usually from notable people but some anonymous.

I kept a whole bunch of these quotes and wrote them down. Some were superb in simplicity while others were on the verge of being regurgitated into Valentine’s Day card messages.

After seeing them all together I took elements from each quote and tried to embed them into a poem with my own take of love. I did not want the poem to be too romantic but rather a more honest description on what I have experienced.

Below I have listed all the quotes I used for inspiration and would like to thank the authors, Baci and my partner for the material. Enjoy!

Never close your lips to one to whom you have opened your heart. – Anonymous

Love me because without you I can do nothing, I am nothing. – P. Verlaine

I loved you at first sight. And you smile because you know it. – A. Boito

To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart. – Anonymous

Love brought me thence, who prompts my speech. – Dante Alighieri

Your face is the sun, and the sound of your words is harmony. – Veronica Gambara

To love is a choice and a kiss seals that choice. – Anonymous

He who wants to be loved needs to become lovable. – Proverbio

Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be. – G. Sand

A friend to all is a friend to none. – A. Schopenhauer

My soul is with you, I will give you love in exchange for love. – Eloisa

Love does not destroy: indeed, it makes you perfect. – Tommaso d’Aquino

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. – Aristotele

Love has its own instinct, finding the way to the heart. – Honore de Balzac

A kiss is a secret told to the mouth instead of the ear. – E. Rostand

A friend is by your side, is loyal through thick and thin. – Brunetto Latini

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh

Hello there, me again

The voice inside your head you ignore

Just wanted to let you know

That everyone you love is going to die

That you will most likely die a painful death

And it doesn’t even matter

The world is going to shit anyway

Your government is probably lying to you

Everyone is becoming a fat keyboard warrior

Drooling over the fact that Queen B blinked

That you like to think you’re an individual

Yet the ongoing spread of communication

Means we have all become clichés

That the most joy you get in life

Is living through fictional characters

And that people are progressively more repugnant

You are glad if you don’t see another human being for a whole day

You will most likely work in a job you hate

For your very short life

To save up enough money

For some underpaid carer to forget to shower you

So you can sit there in old age

And think what a waste of time and space our society has become

But hey, you will die

Hopefully you live somewhere where euthanasia is legal

That’s all

Point of S(t)ale

in a darkened building

she is behind a counter

there is a long line of shadows

waiting on her

filling the space with decaying breath

she feels around for a screen

or a till stashed full of money

nothing is switched on

she is helpless

but the shadows refuse to leave

with their yellowing nails

clutching this and that

a lot of time has past

the urgency makes her teeth grind

they only care for themselves

she lies on the floor in desperation

they can not see her there

she knows it is childish

she is tired of being gawked at

despite the feeling that she is in trouble

it is a relief

unusually soft too

a body grabs her

she sits up

sticks her hand out

on to her bedside table

the counter seems to vanish

with the realisation

that her partner is embracing her

from behind

in their double bed

far removed from registers

from customers

her heart beat slows

she is in her favourite place

although

it feels like the shadows linger

always wanting

always waiting

unrelenting servitude

in an unending cycle

Untitled, 12/02/2016

Have a laugh with a co-worker in the back room.

Share a glance with a stranger waiting in line for food.

Stay up all night with your friends.

Reminisce your childhood with your parents.

Whisper something you have never said to your lover.

Give a cheeky wink to an overactive toddler.

Help an elderly person with their shopping.

Give a nod to a driver to say thanks for stopping.

You can never know what everyone is thinking

Does not mean there is any less meaning.

As much as hiding away from the world sounds ideal

The shared moments in my life have felt more real.

2016 Eleanor

Some might say I fell
The word is too quick for what really happened
It was as if a time lapse was taken
Over several months
And years
And I just forgot about the things
That were important to me at fifteen
Unintentional but
I’m trying find that place in my brain
That saw possibility
And power in words
Mostly the power it embedded in me

It’s alright
I’m resigned to what I am
Or at least finding that out every day