The day is glorious
Bathed in angelic light
Just being sun soaked
Could make most smile
Not me, not I
I stay inside
Digging my nails in my arm
Wishing the sun would hide
So that I may venture out
Unnoticed
Inconspicuous
The undesirable know their place
Sheltered and dark
Separate from beauty
Struggling for identity
That will cover up the shame
Incessantly
In senseless segments
I’m exasperated
With existential
Questions
Consistent with
Irrelevance
Quietly I’m coping
Hardly knowing
If I’m going
Inadvertently insane
With inane
Insignificance
This swirling entity of deep sadness
You want to purge it
Cough it out like lung tar
No matter how hard you cry or how tightly you ball yourself up
How raw your skin gets or how rough your throat is
It is a part of you
The sun will keep passing by warming your tired face
Knowing millions of others feel the same as you when stepping outside
It doesn’t hurt any less
It bites as hard as winter chill
You get pinned down by this sadness
Having to accept it
Having to awkwardly live alongside it
Some days it resides in a far off part of the house
You hardly know it is there
Other days it is manifested right in your face
When you stare in the mirror
It can disappear for a week or even a month
Giving you time to heal
Time to enjoy being alive
But you can always rely on its return
Like an old friend
To remind you to appreciate things more
To understand that being sad
Is a part of everyone’s life
Not to be ashamed at moments of weakness
Sometimes it will come down on you like a fierce storm
Or other times it trickles down like gentle rain
It is pointless fighting it
You can’t slam a door in its face
It is much better
Even with reluctance
To greet this swirling entity of deep sadness
Give it a place to exist
And with time
The visitations might get shorter
Teaching you new things with every stay
Before us is a meat platter
Ham, beef, turkey, sashimi, crocodile and deer
Everybody is chatting excitedly
Picking away at the food
A smooth female voice is on the intercom
Repeating the same information
“Upon docking please queue in your designated line…”
“Your line is assigned on your e-ticket…”
“Please enjoy the complimentary beverage and food…”
“Brought to you by Bridging Enterprise…”
“Where our goal is to successfully bridge the gap…”
“Between humanity and life beyond…”
“Ensuring your well being and harmony in the new world…”
Everybody here came alone
As part of the contract
A balance of all types of people
The lady next to me told me she was a bus driver
Been single for ten years
No children
Our ambassador is sitting in the exclusive box
Watching over us
A tidy looking man
Deep in conversation on a fancy phone
It is almost time
The ship looks like a giant octopus from afar
Tentacles made from a glistening metallic like material
Music starts playing
Some classical concerto
The landing is extremely gentle
The main lights dim as multiple exits light up
My line is straight ahead
Two young males like me are already there
The one in front of me says
That we are about to be given the grand tour
Of what we have been calling ‘The Caelus Ship’
The room ahead is dark with a neon glow
We have been told to gather inside
Wow
We are all guys in here
It is just silence
Waiting for the pod to move
Like an elevator
I can hear a hissing sound
The pod is filled with a gas of some kind
I am asleep
I am awake
On a conveyor belt
Yellow eyes are everywhere
My clothes are gone
I am hounded with noise
Machinery
Screams
I look to my left
A man’s neck is cut
With a guillotine like contraption
The head falls down a chute
The body moves along
Oh god
I am next
Please
It’s that look.
Trying to be passive,
Like the burn of your stare,
Doesn’t set fire to her imaginations,
Like she doesn’t care.
It’s that look.
As if she’s not troubled,
At the realisation,
That she’s going to love,
Because love is devastation.
It’s that look.
Those pouted lips poised,
Like a gate rigged shut,
Giving her time think,
With her brain and not her gut.
It’s that look.
That says “back off”,
But also says “stay”,
Almost like a doll,
Yet her soulful eyes betray
It’s that look
Like hors d’oeuvres,
You absolutely adore,
A delicious treat leaving you weak,
And hungrier for more.
Think of the paramedics
As they cling to the wounded
Batting off those angry and confused
By people in uniform
Trying to save a life
Elbows deep in blood
Returning home
Showering off the days work
Letting go of the one who died on the road
Brain leaking out upon arrival
Taking a deep breath
Deciding what to cook for dinner
