Changed The Name But Still The Same

Hi folks,

I have been ‘From That Little Weird Place’ for the majority of the year but now I am ‘Hockadower’.

I changed it because I felt it was too long and most people would always forget it (sometimes even myself).

Now it is HOCKADOWER, hopefully a more memorable title.

Peace out.

Food For Worms

Many foolish people live selfishly, surround themselves in material goods, and only see things for its face value.

Ultimately, there is no divine purpose for our existence. We exist to exist. That doesn’t mean we can’t live a meaningful life. Devote yourself to love. Love is a balance of taking and sharing, like breathing.

We are all just food for worms after all.

 

Patriotism

Some might say: “What’s the harm of a little patriotism?” You live in a beautiful country and you should be extremely proud right?

There is nothing wrong in loving the country you live in, but you should love it for the right reasons.

On Australia Day many Australians wear the ‘Southern Cross’ and the classic yellow and green. They get boozed up and parade the streets. It’s a celebration that can (and has quite often) led to disgraceful behaviour. When I was a bit younger, I remember walking with my family down to the foreshore to watch the fireworks. On the walk home a car had hit someone, not fatally but enough to trigger other people climbing aboard the car and banging on the windows.

Only just this year one of my best friends was driving to a party we were at. She was parked at some traffic lights when a group of drunken men started shouting at her and one of them threw a beer bottle straight through her back windshield shattering the glass. She was absolutely petrified and ended up not celebrating that night.

In that respect, I don’t feel proud.

Recently, I was shown a poem written by the great Australian Phillip Adams called ‘I Love This Bloody Country’. It is a sort of parody of Dorothea Mackellar’s poem ‘My Country’ (http://www.dorotheamackellar.com.au/archive/mycountry.htm). Which to me was amazing because only a week earlier I had written something relatively similar. If you aren’t Australian it will be hard to understand a lot of the references, but it’s a well written piece of satire and…well…it speaks a lot of truths:
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/features/i-love-this-bloody-country-a-heartfelt-poem/story-e6frg8h6-1227000096302?nk=ef412ad6bd7a689d623f441ce1e3751e

Here is what I had written in the style of a diminished hexaverse. It is nowhere as good as Phillip’s but the content is of the same theme:

The Land of Oz-Straya

Our sunburnt country
Is a sight to see.
Vast empty deserts.
Vibrant rainforests.
Secluded beaches.

Just ignore the
‘Bogan’ pride, slight
Racism, and
Tony Abbott.

Who are we?
Pioneers?
Invaders?

Straya!
G’day,

Mate.

I don’t want to seem like I hate my country. It has a lot of faults but it is my home and it’s not all bad. I will leave you with a link to a Joelistics song (Aussie rapper) which presents Australia in a much more positive way:

His lyrics are fantastic, but the video is what makes this memorable for me. A bunch of Aussies were asked to record snippets of things they thought represented Australia. The result was myriad of images that reminded me of the things I think are beautiful.

The Road To Success

From some recent conversations with friends, I have found that I’m not representing myself to the fullest during these times. Sometimes, the conversation takes a turn where I feel extremely uncomfortable in, but in fear of causing confrontation I say nothing. I really don’t want to do that anymore. I need to be someone I’m proud of. I can’t do that if I’m not standing behind my beliefs. It’s important to be self reflective because you might unconsciously turn into someone you’re not proud of.
Lately, it seems a few people have been judging those around them based on their level of ‘success’ since leaving high school. They are measuring success based on academic levels, income and living situations. I think success should be determined by how happy the person is, because what’s the point in living ‘successfully’ if you’re not even happy?
Because we might not know these people on a personal level, I don’t think we have the right to say how ‘successful’ they are, because we don’t know their own situations.
To a degree, I was also judged based on my situation, by people who are relatively close to me. I get judged on my field of study in The Arts. People always ask me where it is going to lead, or what the job prospects are when they already know my field is highly competitive. I might not have a definite plan for the next five years, but I do have an idea. I plan to live the way I want to live. One day I might want to do this, the other day I might want to try something else. I’m still figuring it out. The important thing is that I’m happy, and especially happy with who I am. There was a excellent quote from the Daria episode “Gifted” that I watched recently that explains exactly how I feel: “My goal is not to wake up at forty with the bitter realisation that I’ve wasted my life in a job I hate, because I was forced to decide on a career in my teens.”
So I’m going to try and be a better person and just be honest with my friends, starting with this post.

The Struggle

I haven’t posted anything new recently because Uni has started up again and that oh so familiar cortisol kicks in and it feels like you’re trying to walk around  balancing books on your head that keep falling and crushing your feet. Why is it that when things get so stressful that, instead of dealing with your problems, sometimes you ignore them until they become so big and ugly it’s impossible to ignore them anymore. I want to know why some of us just don’t seem to have that frustratingly perfect gene that allows some of us to get ahead with their work, finish it early and submit it with sickeningly sweet smile.

Sometimes I wonder why I go to Uni…the whole point is to help set myself up for a good future right? Even though what I’m studying I mostly get tutors saying: “This field is extremely competitive…”, “Finding work is going to be very hard…”, “You’re going to have to move to Melbourne if you want any sort of chance at getting a job.” Not to mention the horrible looks of pity on peoples faces when I tell them what I study and the classic line: “Will that lead to much?” Basically, from the reactions I’m getting, this really isn’t going to help me much at all. The future looks bleak.

I want what everyone wants: to live a happy life. It’s just hard figuring out what makes you happy and if you can make it happen in comparison in what society deems as normal. Right now, a good weekend for me is getting take-away and watching some TV with my boyfriend. Yes, I want to travel, go out for lunches and shop, so that means I will need money…and to get money means working a 9-5 job. If I’m spending my life working this 9-5 job I hate, it means the majority of life won’t be fun or happy. That’s our ‘lot’. Life isn’t always fun. It’s complicated and we made it that way, otherwise we’d be killing each other basic things like food, water, and shelter…Wait…in a way…aren’t we still doing that?

I apologise for the vant (vent/rant). This is my form of therapy. Hey, it’s either this or slapping people in the face, and hopefully this is a little more bearable. I will have a glass of wine and cheers to you for making it through. 🙂

Photo on 19-03-14 at 7.03 PM