Fictional World

One of my Creative Writing tutors told me that the percentage of writers/artists being depressed is incredible high. I’m beginning to understand why intellectuals and artists are this way.

Since I was young, I always wondered why I was at my happiest getting stuck into a Harry Potter book. But in my youth I was still excited for the future, when I would grow up myself and go on adventures of my own, just like Frodo and Bilbo did. Yet, now I have grown more I lack this enthusiasm for the future. The real world doesn’t have a concise ending. The hero doesn’t win and live happily ever after.

The world isn’t full of evil like described in books. Not pure evil derived from a ‘hell’ or dark magic. People become evil through the way they grow; their environment and influences. There is no such thing as pure evil. People, no matter who they are, are shades of good and bad.

In a way, it is worse than the fictional worlds. You don’t know who the villains are. People aren’t all fighting for freedom or love, money has a stronghold over humanity and it is harming the rest of the world.

The world is random, made of bits of coincidences that have formed into a mutated state of being. It doesn’t follow a narrative structure where everything ends in closure. You can live your whole life and never find that closure.

This is why artists can be the saddest people in the world, because they are constantly trying to escape it. I want to live in the Shire, go to the Green Dragon for a pint and see Gandalf’s fireworks. I don’t want to work for a pile of money that secures me a comfortable position in a nursing home. Reality is too full of disappointments and uncertainties.

This was a great article about Tolkien’s books and what they were to a sub-culture of people in the 60’s and 70’s. I think the books continue to offer this to people. The Shire is a utopia we can never achieve, but can’t help but dream of.

I’m going to New Zealand soon, and hopefully will visit the place where the Peter Jackson filmed The Shire. It will be beautiful and will fuel my imagination, but it will still be me reaching for a different reality.

The best we can do is find happiness.

Ultra Silence

Only ever through a window, have I killed.
I’ve marched through halls making machine gun splatter art.
Crunched skulls underneath thickset leather boots.
Seen the split seconds of horror warp a persons face.
I’ve gone on mad blood frenzies sparked by rage.
Only ever through the gauze of space, have I killed.
Others breach the void.
Make their choice.
Blood boil.
If the unconscious had physicality,
Then we’d all be guilty.
A thought is a spark.
An act is a bang.

A comment on the reactions to “10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman.”

I think the problem that some men faced when watching the video was that they felt like they were being generalised as being predatory if they wanted to get to know a pretty girl. We know not all men are like that, that not all men would ever mean harm to a woman or anyone else for that matter. These men are our friends and family. Unfortunately, at face value on the street, we have no idea what sort of a person could be talking to us. Dangerous people can look like anyone. We all just want to get from A to B safely, so unfortunately we have to question anyone’s intentions (including strangers who are women).

We have to be especially cautious as there are those sorts of people that victim blame if there is an incident e.g. they shouldn’t have stopped to talk to that person, they were being careless, if they ignored it nothing would have happened. I agree, men should definitely have the right to talk to women they find attractive (and women to men), but I think the circumstances really make a difference.

Approaching someone at a bar or a party is definitely acceptable as people feel well surrounded (usually by friends) and therefore feeling more secure in the environment to talk to a stranger. Also, because they are at the event with the purpose to socialise. Approaching someone on a street is different though, it’s an open space where we are sometimes alone. We are aware that there are cases of abductions and assault that take place in broad daylight. If we are walking on the street we are most likely in the middle of doing something, going somewhere and just want to get on with our day. Everyone is naturally suspicious of strangers because that is a basic survival instinct.

Not that I’m saying people can’t talk to one another, it just needs to be done so that everyone feels comfortable with it e.g. when there are lots of other people around, keep a respectable distance, introduce yourself, don’t comment outright on the persons appearance (unless it is something like commenting on a cool accessory like a bag or some shit). I think if you tell someone outright they are beautiful, it implies a level of attraction that then suggests possible action to be taken, pursuit or more. If you get to know the person first and you both feel safe in each others presence then I think it’s better to say something like that then. Not that all people will react the same, but better to be cautious.

Sorry for the rant but it’s been bothering me that the video meant to do good is causing more divide.